Nighttime - Not

Day one blew the no nighttime eating. Haven't managed it all week. Doing all right throughout the days for the most part but as soon as everyone is off to bed, I'm on a mission to eat. I've noticed the thoughts of what I can have start as the kids are getting ready for bed so no wonder I'm done by the time the opportunity arises. The thoughts have been consuming me long before the time arrives.

I've also realized that this is the my most unproductive time. I channel surf, watching mediocre TV at best. I eat. Maybe surf the internet. First order of business on this journey has got to be changing up my nighttime routine. There's plenty I could do, which would actually make me feel more accomplished. I can clean. I can read. I can exercise. I can pray. I can work on my scrapbooks. Pay bills. Why? Why don't I do any of those better things? Why do I feel so compelled to be a couch potato eating everything in sight?

Habit I suppose. That's certainly how I spent my youth and early adulthood (hence why I have a weight problem).

So I guess I will try planning my activity for the night instead of letting habit rule the night. Since exercise is necessary to lose weight, I need to work on that. There is no other time in my schedule, all year round that I can consistently exercise. So that seems like the best choice.

End of Day One

Eating

So far so good. Made it through the main part of the day with what I consider acceptable choices:

• Breakfast - Peanut Butter Toast and Coffee - probably 400 calories
• Lunch - Tuna Salad Stuffed Orange Pepper - also about 400 calories
• Snack - Cajun Peanuts - about 100 calories
• Dinner - Papa Murphy's DeLite Hawaiian Pizza and Cheesy Bread and Marinara sauce with root beer - around 600 calories

So if I can manage not to eat anything more before going to bed (the next big challenge), I consumed about 1500 calories, which is right on target for a healthy weight loss.

Exercise

My husband has lost consistently over the last four months doing a low-carb, no sugar diet and walking many miles everyday. He is far more disciplined than I am about the exercising. Even though he walked nearly 13 miles this morning, he is implementing a family walk after dinner now that the weather is better and it is lighter later. We walked 1.8 miles this evening. About 190 calories burned.

I usually do better with walking during the spring and summer and then totally bail in fall/winter and that is when I gain all my weight back. Typically in November and December (holidays don't help with that).

That means I either have to lose enough in the spring/summer to account for gaining half of it back or I have to figure out some other exercise I can do for the dark half of the year.

Nightime 

I often consume as many calories after everyone else has gone to bed as I do all day. That has got to stop. I know it's not really hunger but it will look like it. Sitting down in front of the TV is definitely a trigger. Must break that routine. Today is a good day to begin because I've hit all my other targets. It is always more tempting to blow it at night if I've already blown it during the day. But I could put today in the win column if I don't blow it so that's the goal.

Beginning

This is my journey to get off the the yo-yo dieting and lose weight permanently. I am 5 feet 2 inches tall and I weight 224.6 lbs as of this morning. I have high blood pressure. I am nearly 48 years old.

I'm tired...tired of failing, tired of false hopes, tired of rolling the same stone up the hill only to have it roll back down as soon as I reach the top.

I've learned a lot about what doesn't work for me. I have some idea of what will work. Now is the time to put it into practice, inch by inch, step by step.

What I've learned about losing weight:

• It won't be fast. Not even 2 lbs a week. I've never lost that much consistently EVER even when I was eating one meal and one snack a day and exercising two hours a day. 1 lb a week is the best I will see. More likely 1/2 a lb to 3/4 of a lb.
• I will not ever be able to stick to a restrictive diet. Do not taste this, do not touch this won't work for me long term. It barely works short term. I often can't stick to a "plan" for more than one meal. I've got to learn how to eat less of what I normally eat.
• I have to exercise. Even on restrictive diets, I don't lose unless I add some exercise. Sitting around all day just will not get it done.
• I have to find a consistent time to exercise every day. Trying to fit it in when I can usually means it doesn't happen. If it's part of my routine, it will happen because it breaks my routine if I don't do it. Exercise just needs to be as automatic as possible.

I am hoping by journaling, I will be more accountable to myself about what is and isn't working for me.